Transfer test results day can be just as daunting as the test days themselves. Although fundamentally a test for 10 and 11-year-olds shouldn’t be a life-changing event, the reality is that the transfer test results can hold a lot of weight. Unfortunately, many children will be aware of that, in one way or another.

For some families, the results received won’t be what was hoped for and, as much we might try to hide our feelings, most children will be aware that the results will have consequences, such as:

They will also of course be aware that they put work and effort into tests and have been hoping to achieve a good score. Children will also no doubt be discussing and comparing their results with their friends, a social pressure that shouldn’t be underestimated. For those children that socialise on gaming platforms online or, despite age regulations, use social media platforms and messaging apps, that pressure is extended outside of the playground.

So, how can parents help their children with the aftermath of receiving a lower score than hoped for? This guide to supporting your child with their transfer test results will help you navigate those first hours and days, whether the results received were good or not the scores they had expected!  

Whether you are mum, dad, carer, a relative, family friend or teacher, if a child looks up to you then the words you use now are likely to be very impactful. The same goes for your reactions, including body language.

Your words will carry a heavy weight and if a child hasn’t scored as highly as hoped, they will likely be looking to you for reassurance, consolement and guidance. Pick your words carefully and try not to use any negative wording. Instead, focus on using positive language that reaffirms your love and support, and also provide reassurance about their future.

Try and create opportunities for your child to discuss how they’re feeling with you, by allowing plenty of one-on-one time (or time with both parents) in a quiet environment. Remember to use open ended questions, like: “how are you feeling?”, rather than: “are you feeling happy?” or “are you feeling sad?”. We’d encourage you do this several times over the course of the days and weeks ahead to allow time for a child to process and reflect.

The words of your child matter too, especially if they received good results and some of their friends haven’t. When it comes to talking to their friends, encourage your child to be mindful and aware of their words. They don’t need to minimise their own success and can celebrate it, but you can use this opportunity to teach them how to be supportive of their friends.

Result days are significant milestones in your child’s life and these moments matter! So, no matter what the score that falls through the door in an envelope, now is the time to show and tell your child how much they are loved and supported by you. I hope the advice given here will help you with reacting in those first moments and beyond.

Colin Stitt, Head of Safer Schools NI

Whatever the transfer test results score may be, it can help to have some fun activities planned for the hours and even days after the results are received.
Doing something like a special activity will help reiterate that you’re proud of them for all their hard work, regardless of the result, and that you still love and value them.
The activity may also create a great space in which the child feels like they can open up and talk to you about anything they might be feeling.

The activities don’t have to be anything extravagant – a simple walk in the park to feed the ducks, a visit to their favourite place to eat or a trip to the cinema can be enough. It’s about giving your child your time and letting them know that you’re there to support them through their transfer test results score.